Don’t Skip the Storm - Why Tension is the Path to Team Flow
In our work with leadership teams, we often hear a common hope: “We just want a team that gets along.” It’s a beautiful sentiment, but in the world of organizational development, it can be a dangerous one. When leaders prioritize getting along over getting it right, they often attempt to bypass the most uncomfortable, and most essential, phase of team growth: Storming.
At transform.forward, we are self-proclaimed theory nerds. One of our favorite frameworks to lean on is Tuckman’s Four Stages of Group Development. It’s a time-tested model that describes the messy, beautiful process of a group of individuals becoming a true team.
The Four Stages (A Brief Refresher)
Forming: The honeymoon phase. The group is coming together, getting to know one another, and establishing initial preferences.
Storming: The flashy phase where active disagreement surfaces. This is where people bump up against each other as they figure out how to share and receive tough information or disagreement.
Norming: The shift from me to we. The team establishes a vibe or personality and understands "this is how we do things here".
Performing: The stage of team flow where the group is more than the sum of its parts and operates with high effectiveness.
Note: There is a secret fifth stage called Adjourning, where a team ends, but most of our work focuses on the first four stages.
The Myth of the Straight Line
The biggest misconception about these stages is that they are linear - that you check off "Forming" and never have to look back. In reality, it is a constant back-and-forth.
Any major change (a new hire, a merger, a vacancy, or a high-stakes deadline) can reset the clock. You might be trucking along in a Performing phase, but when a key team member leaves, the group often has to go back to Forming to bring the new person up to speed and potentially Storm again to figure out the new team identity.
Why We Try to Skip the Storm
Storming gets the most attention because it’s where teams most often go off track. Why? Because groups are often unwilling to storm or haven't figured out how to do it well.
Most people have conflict baggage. They believe disagreement is unprofessional or that it will hurt feelings. To avoid the discomfort, leaders often sweep tension under the rug. But avoiding the storm is not the goal. You can be a functioning team without storming, but you cannot become a performing team without it. You have to work through the friction to establish the healthy norms and trust required for high-level work.
Storming as a Clash of "Two Goods"
One of the most helpful ways to reframe storming is to see it not as a fight between people, but as a friction between competing values. Usually, it’s two good things at odds:
Efficiency vs. Accuracy: One person wants to move fast; the other wants to ensure zero mistakes. Both are valuable, but they require different paces.
Policy vs. Individual Outcome: One person values the consistency of the rule, the other values the beneficial outcome for a specific person.
When you frame conflict this way, it stops being a value judgment and starts being a professional discussion about context and values hierarchy.
Air Fryers versus Crockpots: The Tempo of Storming
During a recent retreat, a useful metaphor emerged for how different people process tension: Air Fryers vs. Crockpots.
Air Fryer Thinkers: They know what they think almost immediately. They are ready to fry the issue right then and there.
Crockpot Thinkers: They need to marinate. They need to hear the information, process it, and sit with it before they can show up as their best selves for the conversation.
A team is almost always a mix of both. If a leader forces an Air Fryer model - demanding a resolution right now - they lose the insight of the Crockpots. If they wait too long, the Air Fryers get frustrated. Healthy storming means acknowledging these differences. It might look like saying, "We're going to talk about this issue today, and then we're going to revisit it next week to make sure everyone has had time to process,” but then you actually have to revisit it.
How to Storm Well
Healthy storming is a muscle that needs to be built early, especially for teams working in high-stakes or high-proximity environments. Here are a few ways to start:
Lead with Respect: Use respect as the launching point. "I value your commitment to this project, and that’s why I need to share where I’m bumping up against your approach."
Normalize the Disagreement: Don't joke or be passive-aggressive. Be professional and say, "I don't see it that way" or "I disagree."
Put it on the Agenda: One team we worked with literally set aside time on their meeting agenda to "address the issue". They didn't call it Storming,but they created a formal space for tension so it didn't have to leak out in the hallway.
Go One-on-One When Needed: While group clarity is important, sometimes the heaviest storming happens best in a 1:1 setting to clarify a story or address hurt feelings.
The Takeaway
Storming is not a sign of failure; it’s a sign of growth. It’s the process of moving from me to we. When you stop avoiding the friction and start leaning into the curiosity of why you’re at odds, you build a team that is resilient, honest, and ready to perform.
So, the next time things get a little heated in a meeting, grab an umbrella and brave the “storm” - things will be better on the other side!
